This may be the most personal post I have ever written. Just a warning in case you want to skip ahead to the photos and maybe go back to stalking others on facebook.
About five years ago, I was sitting in my car crying. I had gone through a really horrible breakup and I was sad, among many other emotions. Long story short, I sat there feeling so helpless, as one normally does during those trying times, and I began to pray. I put my hands together, closed my eyes, and said, "God, if you exist, please give me some peace. I am tired of feeling like this and want it to be over."
It may have been a small gesture at first but I found peace that day. The tears stopped rolling down my cheeks and little by little, I began to see that when I prayed, magical things would happen. I then shifted from saying, "God if you exist..." to "God..." And slowly, my faith began to grow. I never had religion or faith in my life before. I never had anyone tell me to believe one thing or another. I was just a person who always tried to live a good life.So when I began to see changes, real tangible changes, my faith grew. It was something that I kept to myself at first. Something that I didn't really reveal to others or mention for fear that they would criticize me in saying that why, or how, because I wasn't known to be much of a believer.
About three years ago, my mother told me something that I, at the time, wasn't ready for. That I needed to go to church because this way, I was only living my faith halfway. Which at the time, I thought that having a relationship with God was such a big step that I didn't want others to ruin it for me. Simply, I wasn't ready. Fast forward to two years ago, I began to feel like she was right. I needed guidance so that my faith could grow, so I could know more about God.
Last year, I went to church. I felt this burst of heat in my chest blast me with so much love. I don't know how else to describe it... Love seems to be the only thing I can compare the feeling that I got. And it was then that I went, talked to a priest, and began my 8 month journey to where I am now.
This Saturday, I will get baptized. It has been such an incredible journey learning so much about God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit and becoming a part of a community where I feel I belong. In a place where I can put my faith to work. On Saturday, I will become new, begin again.
This Saturday, my life will change.
I don't normally share such personal things on my blog nor do I write often about my religious views... however, I believe that putting this out there for the world to see makes it that much more special. This is a special and one of a kind event for me and so I wanted to share my story with you, and everyone else that may have gone through something similar.
Some behind the scenes photos from a recent shoot :).
