I wish I had the gift of expression in written form so that I could accurately and eloquently describe the feeling behind this session.  I am not sure of where to even begin as there is so much I want to tell you.

I met these two on the first day of the

Expo

when the crowd grew into more than what my mind could process in our tiny 9x9 space.  We had our sales pitch down to a science.  The bf would greet and pull the crowd in and we would sit and begin with pricing.  Then I would come up and introduce myself, asking them about the details of their wedding.  The date, the location, what they were looking for.  The whole bit.  Like clockwork.  That is until Carmen told me that she was thinking of going to the

Namurachi Canyon

to have their engagement session.  I. Was. Ecstatic!  I was more excited than a 5 year old who steps into Disneyland for the very first time.  Times infinity.  Yeah, I just went all middle school.

The hopeless romantic in me can't help but explain to you the incredible history that the Namurachi Canyon has.  During the

Guerra Cristera

, couples would travel days and days in secret in order to reach the canyon's altar in order to get married by the church.  It was such an important task, that even when it was forbidden by law, they would risk everything including their lives in order to be married in the eyes of God.  How amazing is that?  Consider yourself, would you risk everything to be married by your church?  I am still so impacted by the history.  

So naturally, the whole time we spoke about the details of their wedding, inside I was pleading that they would hire me.  Their sweet and romantic disposition also made want to become their friend instantly.  And like so many couples during the Expo, they stood up, thanked me for my time, and walked on.  So when they came back and reserved their date, I hugged them and thanked them for the amazing opportunity to get to become their friend, and be a part of their beautiful journey.

The second part of the session was done in Avalos.  An old abandoned steel mill that is a bit creepy mixed with cool textures and amazing old structures.  And beautiful light ;)

Carmen + Alonso:  Gracias por darme la oportunidad de ser tu fotografa.  De documentar tu amor es un honor y conocerlos a sido algo muy especial para mi.  Estoy super emocionada por la boda en Octubre! Muchos abrazos! 

Alonso has this way of taking care of Carmen.  He brushed her hair out of her face as she warmed up to the camera.  And Carmen has this way of looking at Alonso with so much love that it radiates from within her soul.  They are beautiful and I am so honored to know them.  

How adorable is this cute 8 month old?!?!?! Seriously loved this session.  More to come soon!!!  She was part of the Mini Sessions I held last week while I visited California :).

If you want to have a Mini Session on my next visit, contact me via email at hello@jackielamasphotography.com and I can give you the details on when I will be returning so we can schedule you in!

I am not sure how to explain what I have been feeling lately.  It's been six months since I moved here and I don't have much experience in being an expat, but sometimes, I really miss being home.  I miss my friends and family and the familiar places I used to go to. I even miss the difference in culture sometimes.  Not feeling weird because I make myself a peanut butter + jelly sandwich.  Or getting weird looks for going into a restaurant and eating alone because I crave Thai food.  Those things, after a while, tend to weigh on a person.  And make you miss home.  I suppose though, that these feelings are normal.  I don't like to admit that I get homesick.  After all, the decision to be here was completely all mine.  So, homesick to me seems like I'm whining.   In the beginning I didn't feel much homesickness.  It still felt like a vacation... until about a month ago.  

It would make more sense if things weren't going as wonderfully as they have been.  I have officially completed the semester as a teacher!  Which has been such a gratifying feeling to see the already high saturated minds of high school students learn from me and show progress in the course of the semester.  I am more eager for next semester!  As for the boyfriend, it still feels like a dream and I am really blessed! I have seen some really amazing places since I've been here.  A  couple of sessions have really made me fall in love with my couples, they really make doing what I do such a blessing!  And, I've become a regular at a local cafe, which makes me feel special when they call me by my name.  I also get to go home in four days!  Which could be the reason for all the homesickness.  The closer it gets the more I miss everyone's faces.  

I am extremely grateful for how things have been going and well, missing home is normal. The funny part in all of this is that when I do get home, I know I will miss being here.  As my dad would say, "it's a catch 22."  I guess that with time, it will get a little easier between my two worlds.  Wouldn't it be great if I could just combine the two and create a new country!  All of my favorite people in the same place from here and there :).  A girl can dream... sigh.   

Here are a few quotes that I found on Pinterest that make being an expat more exciting and remind me that I am exactly where I am supposed to be :).

(source)

(source)

(source)

In life, we are presented with opportunities.  Some we overlook and decide that it isn't the right time.  Others pass us by with out even a moments notice.  And before we know it, it's gone.  Whoosh.  Just like that.  However, sometimes we are presented with opportunities that often seem like obstacles.  A chore.  Something we have to actually put effort and energy toward to over come them.  What we don't realize, is that each one of these so-called obstacles are in fact opportunities.  They are disguised so that we do not see them in positive light.  They are mischievous and throw us curve balls every chance we get.  Yet, they are opportunities designed to teach us something new.  To help us grow and see things in a different light.  They are meant to be difficult, trying, and sometimes even break us down.  So after we over come them and accept that they've only been playing dress up this whole time, we can see how we have become better because of their little games.  We can see that they were truly in fact opportunities.  That they were some of the best ones in our lives.  Not allowing us to ignore them... not allowing them to simply pass us by.  

Love is like that.  Love can sometimes seem like an obstacle.  However, no matter what it can conjure up to throw us another curve ball, love is love.  It's big, noisy, and most often, slaps us in the face when we least expect it.  That is the kind of love that doesn't like to be passed by.  That is the kind that sticks around and makes you work for it.  No matter how far it may have beaten you down in the past, or how much you try to avoid it, some day, it will come find you.  And you will see it as the best and most beautiful opportunity you have ever been fortunate to receive.  

I have had such an amazing time here in Mexico.  Learning and growing in many different facets of my life.  Of myself.  Of my profession.  Teaching and sparking some interest in what I am so passionate about.  When clients give you the opportunity to see what their love is like it really takes my breath away. It makes me honored to be a part of their lives. 

I had such an amazing time with these two last weekend.  Part two of their session is this coming Saturday and I can't wait!  

When I moved, I was well aware that going back home was only a day away by bus.  Which is how I usually travel from Mexico to the States and vice versa.  It's just been the way since I was a child and we'd go to Mexico to visit my grandparents and my uncles.  It's a long ride but I use it to reflect and enjoy the beauty of the moon over the ridge as we drive through the desert at 3am.  

Being a day away allows me to still shoot weddings and portraits in California and visit my family!  So, I'm coming back!  I'll be there to visit family and enjoy that time with them but I couldn't forget about you, my clients!  I have created very special and limited time Mini Sessions!  

Take advantage of this time because I am not quite sure when I will be returning to California!  If it's time to update your family photos, or take those maternity photos, or have some really cute portraits of just you... now is the time!  

Book your session right here.  Use the drop down menu to select the time:

Friday, May 31

11:30 am - 12:30 pm BOOKED! 1:30 pm - 2:30 pm BOOKED! 4:30 pm - 5:30 pm 6:30 pm - 7:30pm

 

Saturday, June 1st

11:30 am - 12:30 pm 1:30 pm - 2:30 pm 4:30 pm - 5:30 pm 6:30 pm - 7:30pm BOOKED!

Sunday, June 2nd

11:30 am - 12:30 pm BOOKED! 1:30 pm - 2:30 pm 4:30 pm - 5:30 pm 6:30 pm - 7:30pm BOOKED!

This session was actually held back in December, before my big move.  We met in Laguna and it was a pretty chilly day but the sunset was absolutely beautiful!  And the light too. Brook brought her growing family and her little sister to the session.  So much fun!

*Updated that my then boyfriend is now my husband :)* 

I have a crooked nose.  Big hips.  Short legs.  Really skinny hands.  One eye is bigger than the other.  Both eyes are pretty big as it is.  I have a crooked tooth.  Big gums and a big mouth.  Small ears.  Jiggly upper arms.  

As a photographer, I have been in front of the camera a few times.  Very few times.  Because I know how it feels to be on the other side.  Being nervous.  Feeling insecure.  Feeling awkward.  Will the angles favor my huge child bearing hips?  Is my smile too big and show my gums?  And the list goes on.  So I know how it must feel for you.

This past week, I asked my boyfriend to take my photo.  I needed new head shots for my website, blog, and Facebook and I thought the practice would be good for him.  I had never before been excited to have someone photograph me.  And this made me think, it's not the insecurities that keep you from having a professional session, it's the photographer.  

The photographer makes all the difference.

 I am comfortable being myself in front of my boyfriend.  I'm not afraid to make silly faces or laugh really hard.  I'm not afraid that he'll make me look awkward or weird.  And the occasional, "you are beautiful" definitely helps boost the confidence, ya know!

We all have insecurities That one particular thing that is the bane of our existence.  That thing that keeps us from having our photo taken.  We fear the camera for showing us our worst.  But sometimes, the camera shows you that all of your insecurities were solely in your mind.  In your warped mind that you need to look like someone else.  That you are not enough.

You are beautiful.  You are interesting.  

Finding that photographer that you can trust to make you see the best version of you is key.  When I photograph my clients I know they're nervous.  I know that they're thinking of their insecurities.  Their flaws.  I talk and get to know them.  Before the session and during the session and usually we end up becoming friends.  After 20 minutes, those flaws fade away and what comes out is pure and honest. It's their personality.  Who they really are: beautiful inside and out.

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It's common to feel the burn out coming.  Waking up and not feeling inspired to create, to do something new.  Feeling inadequate to your peers.  As if it were high school all over again.  Feeling like you're stuck in the same spot circling the same stuck-ness.  I just made that word up.  

Then, you get the opportunity to teach.  To extend your knowledge, search through all of the files you've locked away, and teach some one something they've never known.  And you get inspired.  You see that you really do know how to use lighting.  That you have dabbed in fashion and can teach it.  Explain and see that in those bright eyed students, they are absorbing.  And just like that, you see their photos.  You see what they are creating, what inspires them.  You see that you are making a difference in their lives.  Photography may not be what my students pursue, however, if I have sparked one ounce of creativity, a pinch of curiosity in photography, then I have done my job.  

Teaching has also taught me a few things.  While we spent some time on street photography, learning about

Henri Cartier-Bresson

,

Diane Arbus

, and

Vivian Maier

, I realized that I was so busy directing and being in control of my subjects/clients that it had been a long time since I had practiced what I teach.

I grabbed my camera, headed downtown and at first, I was nervous and shy.  Nervous that I had to photograph moments that were happening in front of me.  With out taking control of the situation, the light, or the person.  I had to use what was there.  What was being given to me.  I felt the way I did when I first started out, not knowing anything except for the burning desire to be a photographer.  

I relit that fire on Tuesday.  

I don't know which I like better: the color or black and white??

Roxana wanted train tracks with a green background.  We drove out on Saturday to look for the right spot and after an hour and half, we found it.  Train tracks, a little island of green, and even some wooden tracks.  It was hotter than Southern Cali day in August.  But we waited until the light was just right.  

Here is a sneak peek!

At the Expo, that we had the fortune of participating in, we raffled off an engagement session and Sandra + Julio won!  We received their phone call about two weeks later and we met up at Starbucks.  We met up to talk more about their engagement session and what they pictured as their backdrop.

When I  meet with a couple, I like to narrow down what they really want.  The kind of background they want or better, what kind of look they're going for.  Something more green and natural or city and modern.  Each couple has their style so I make sure to know exactly what it is.  

Sandra + Julio are adorable.  They are so beautiful together.  The way Julio makes sure Sandra doesn't fall walking the dirt path in her heels.  Kissing her on her forehead ever so tenderly, and how he makes her laugh is all full of love.  God brought them together at a retreat, even though, Sandra didn't know it at the time that Julio was already in love at first sight of her.  Now, she is deeply and madly in love with Julio.  

They already have a photographer for their wedding, however, I hope that we stay in contact! They were truly such a pleasure to photograph! 

Here are my favorites :)

And a some behind the scenes, with my AWESOME assistant ;)